"Use a napkin, bro."

Prior to the Christmas holiday, I was slated to visit my grandparents for four days in Columbus, OH, and the original plan called for me to train at a nearby Crossfit gym. Bumpers.  An Olympic lifting friendly environment.  Yeah buddy.

Fast forward to 6 a.m. on the morning of December 23, and I cannot figure out how to enter the parking garage of the rental condo.  None of the keys worked, and it was cold as balls at that hour of the day.  In a last ditch effort, I decided to walk around the corner and try to enter the garage via the electronic gizmo.  Then, it appeared before me.  A squat rack.

 

Yeah buddy.

 

As I stood there with my nose pressed up against the large glass window, several perfectly workable squat racks came into focus, all of which were complete with real barbells and plenty of steel.  This was my Red Rider bee be gun.  I walked through the front door, prepared to fork over $20 for the drop-in fee, but much to my amazement, the charge was only $5.  No frills.  No "you must do our program or suffer a painful purification via Crossfit mainsite."  Just slap down a Mr. Lincoln, commandeer a squat rack, and get to work.  I was as happy as a pig in the mud.

The lone downside of this training wet dream was the defunct barbell collars, as none were capable of holding the heavier weight plates in place.  Once I had worked up to 225#, I started becoming concerned about the plates' walking, i.e. their sliding down the bar.  After trying about six different sets with no success, I walked over to the neighboring squat rack where a massive dude was half squatting what looked to be 245# or so.  After explaining my problem with the collars, he replied, "Use a napkin, bro," meaning tear off a paper towel and wrap it around the bar to eliminate the gap between the bar and collar.  Admittedly, I had my doubts about this approach, but it worked beautifully.  I successfully worked up to five sets of five across in the back squat, and I had no further troubles.

Many people use the holidays as a deload week or as a time to take a complete rest -- and this is probably a wise strategy for most -- but, personally, I enjoy the adventure of training somewhere new and interacting with different people.  This freshness breathes new life into my training, and often times I pick some morsel of useful information.

I will conclude on this final point.  I know a lot of guys who train at commercial gyms when on break, and behave like total douchebags.  They snatch or clean with metal plates, and drop loaded barbells with reckless abandon.  Let me make my position totally clear -- don't be an asshole.  The weightlifting gods are fickle creatures, and they neither protect nor reward douchebags.  Show some respect for someone else's property, and honor the weightlifting gods with additional back squats, presses, and pullups.  In case you were wondering, the weightlifting gods also detest kipping pullups.